Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The Age of the Internet

I'm going to pull one out of left field here - and for my international audience which seem to make a decent percentage of my readership (Thank you for reading BTW) that means here's something that is seemingly out of place. While I could say that this is to some degree a clothing blog, I'd like to frame it more as an issue blog. Closet can mean lots of things anyway.

One issue that I've come out on (so to say) is online dating. The internet industry has grown to the point where, for the most part, people know that there is a real person on the other end of the LAN cable that you happen to be typing your information into, you can read the tweets of Justin Bieber, or Lady Gaga, you can even solicit perfect strangers for advice on how to litter train kittens.

So what is the issue with meeting someone online?



I know some people who are fine with the idea, but a lot of people who feel really odd about it. While commentary has never really been high on this blog, I'm really curious about opinions on this so please, pretty please post.

I hear that dating in your 20s really sucks. I can't really comment on the experience since I've been dating the same wonderful guy since I was 21 (I'm 27 now). I met him on HotorNot. The most memorable thing about our initial conversation was that I found him very clever.

I commented that he looked like he would make an excellent Oberon from a Mid Summer Night's Dream. (Excellent opening line, I know)

He responded: "That's the first time someone referred to me as king of the fairies and meant it as a compliment."
 
I don't know if there's a consensus, but I think the internet age has made approaching people a little more difficult or maybe a little less required. Luckily, I'm from Texas and strangers have no qualms about starting random conversations. I don't know how many meaningful relationships result from these exchanges, but generally it's just a coincidental point in time and you both go back to being strangers fast. This heightens the appeal of internet dating in that you don't have to rely on these chance encounters and then on the chance of them reoccurring. Messages are sent on your own time, generally to people who have their own profiles and some decided common ground with you. 

My single friend feels odd about internet dating, yet refers to meeting the right person randomly in person as "the old fashioned way."

I felt odd about having met my boyfriend through the internet at first, but taking a step back, the internet is a pretty amazing thing. I found my boyfriend, my dog, all of my previous jobs through the internet and I shop in a manner that saves gas money - at least for me. If you have everyone in the world at your finger tips, it's just that much easier to find someone, a friend, a mate, a furry buddy. The internet is a good thing. It creates the opportunity.

Now, working with that opportunity is another thing. I've been told that activities are important in first dates. Before meeting my guy, I had my fair share of failed teenage relationships and failed first meetings, enough to the point that I was able to narrow my criteria:

- should be able to beat me in chess
- must eat vegetables

They're simple, but effective. I am a better than average chess player so I would prefer someone who could match or beat my own logic and that takes a fair degree of planning and strategy. As for the vegetables, I like a man who doesn't feel the need to live up to the "real men eat meat" image because if that's the case, real men have a higher chance of acquiring colorectal cancer and a shorter life span. It's good planning for the future. Simple tests, but they tell a lot. I know people have their own criteria "must respect me" "we should connect on an intellectual level" but what does all of that mean? Conversation might not necessarily be a good assessment of these, especially on a first date.

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