Closet Monster: Obsession

While I have a lot of clothes, I don't necessarily wear them all with equal frequency. It's easy to skim though fashion and style blogs and see people in really pretty clothes, posing in a variety of places from roof tops to creek beds, obscure fields, bedrooms, and bathrooms; sitting, standing, leaning casually, attempting to lean casually. The only things I can capture well are ridiculousness and anger. I have a decent amount of energy and I spend the majority of my time on the move. I dance and while you can pose in anything, you cannot dance in just anything and I'll dress to accommodate the opportunity to bust a move anywhere. It is impractical to pose all day, unless it is your job, then it's mighty practical. Essentially, I have no reason to have so many clothes.

Maybe it's because I've been working from home for close to three months, the fact that my work attire consists of sweatpants or bed sheets seems to have changed my palette about clothes and the acquisition of clothes in general. At Anthropologie, I got kind of grossed out by how the marketing scheme would justify a price of $50 for a jersey shirt that really had no indicators of deserving that price. Wanting to play with clothes is a good mental exercise and I'm a supporter of the arts, but it is very mind boggling how some can get obsessed with constant wanting and acquisition followed by the need to showcase. People get impressed with that and then the cycle continues. That is gluttony and also such a vicious, detrimental cycle.

I enjoy buying art supplies. I don't really use them for artsy endeavors, but I like owning them and feel pretty bad about not using them.

Flow Chart: Does it look like I'm trying too hard?

Inspired by my awesome sister Irene.

Growing up with three sisters, you never had to wonder if it looked like you were trying too hard because the second you came out of your room or the bathroom, there would be about 2-3 comments waiting for you. At first it was alright because no one really wants to have to think harder than they need to whether it be about clothes or what to eat for lunch, but at some point, it gets annoying, especially when opinions conflict and you find yourself on the defensive pulling the "individual card" and declaring "I like this, so shut your face." It's the hard knock path towards developing personal style. 

Just as you can like things for no apparent reason, you can also dislike things for no real apparent reason and picking up on this hunch is the first step in assessing if you look like you're trying too hard. Now for those who don't have a series of sisters for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th opinion, there's a fairly easy exercise to follow.

Considerations:

1. Silhouette Comfort

• Not the hoodies and sweatpants comfortable, but the "am I comfortable with this silhouette?" it can range from t-shirt and jeans to cocktail lounge dresses. Generally, do you feel comfortable in public being in this ensemble? It can be an ensemble that you've never tried out before, but you like the silhouette so there is still a degree of comfort. Comfort zones are a lot bigger than you think. This doesn't have any bearing on physical comfort as there are many willing to put up with blisters on their feet just to look good.  

2. Environment

• Where are you going and what will the weather be like? No platform sandals at the beach. No silk pencil skirts to a backyard barbecue. No heavy makeup to an outdoor excursion or any other situation where it will be likely that you'll sweat that make up off.

Exceptions: 

If you have internal issues with thermal regulation (i.e. had your thyroid gland removed), or you're sick any accommodative dressing is quite acceptable.

Next

To establish your comfort level, you need to establish the criteria for your clothing. If your clothing doesn't fit your criteria, than it makes sense for you to not feel comfortable and as such you can end up worrying more about your clothes than things like engaging people in interesting conversation. The main objective is to get dressed and not worry about your clothes after that point.

27 years amazing, and always a lady

RIP Antoine Ashley October 1 2012

I feel odd feeling really bad about someone I didn't know personally. What is even more odd is feeling the lump in your throat develop. This reaction was almost immediate when Michael Jackson died, tears on the keyboard of the campus computer at the school library. I expected that. 

What I did not expect was the near same reaction to the death of Miss Sahara Davenport of Ru Paul's Drag Race Fame. Why? I don't cry easily. People die every day. Even famous ones. But this is not a matter of fame. Michael Jackson was an integral part of my childhood and he revolutionized an industry. Miss Davenport is a part of a revolution. Looking past the LGBTQ, GLAAD conference, and the drag, she was/is one of the beacons supporting the idea of self acceptance, being happy with who you are, and making the absolute best out of life. I owe a degree of my self confidence to her and the show. I don't have to justify it because I think I'm pretty awesome and there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those thoughts. Could she have conceived how many people she had inspired? The thought is overwhelming since it seemed almost unconscious until the tears fell on the keyboard. 27 years old, and you've become a bigger inspiration than you can imagine. One could die happy having had that kind of impact. Still, 27 years seems unfair. 

Upon hearing the news my first thoughts were of Manila Luzon. I can only hope for the best. Stay strong and, in the Filipino habit, don't forget to eat. 

Here are the deepest condolences from a stranger.