27 years amazing, and always a lady

RIP Antoine Ashley October 1 2012

I feel odd feeling really bad about someone I didn't know personally. What is even more odd is feeling the lump in your throat develop. This reaction was almost immediate when Michael Jackson died, tears on the keyboard of the campus computer at the school library. I expected that. 

What I did not expect was the near same reaction to the death of Miss Sahara Davenport of Ru Paul's Drag Race Fame. Why? I don't cry easily. People die every day. Even famous ones. But this is not a matter of fame. Michael Jackson was an integral part of my childhood and he revolutionized an industry. Miss Davenport is a part of a revolution. Looking past the LGBTQ, GLAAD conference, and the drag, she was/is one of the beacons supporting the idea of self acceptance, being happy with who you are, and making the absolute best out of life. I owe a degree of my self confidence to her and the show. I don't have to justify it because I think I'm pretty awesome and there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those thoughts. Could she have conceived how many people she had inspired? The thought is overwhelming since it seemed almost unconscious until the tears fell on the keyboard. 27 years old, and you've become a bigger inspiration than you can imagine. One could die happy having had that kind of impact. Still, 27 years seems unfair. 

Upon hearing the news my first thoughts were of Manila Luzon. I can only hope for the best. Stay strong and, in the Filipino habit, don't forget to eat. 

Here are the deepest condolences from a stranger. 

Focus Focus Focus

I've officially resigned myself to the fact that I've broken virtually all of my new years resolutions except the first one and maybe five.

Make up is an odd thing and it's hard to make sensible decisions when I'm still in the experimental stage. I'm still working on getting it to stay and to not look like a melting mannequin with acne by the end of the day.

Not buying clothes has actually become quite easy considering that it's not quite an active New Year's Resolution - I've gone about 130 days without buying any new clothes. While it was impulse control at first, now I find myself a little bored with it. I almost feel like taking on a 1/2 years resolution at the end of June. Among more interesting things, since I'm not buying any clothes this year, I have to make an effort to fit into the clothes I have. I didn't realize that I was in some twisted way resolving to maintain a certain figure and, subsequently, a diet.

That rant's done. When it comes to the quarterly project, I've concluded that it's hard to resolve to be inspired. It doesn't have to be artsy inspiration, just something that warrants the title "project." I'm currently in the process of making a wooden table top from oak planks. It's pretty cool, I don't know if I'm in the mood to chance the paint scheme of my desk though. It might be more work than I have time for.

Future posts? I'll do my best to try not to disappear for the next 3 weeks.