Growing up with three sisters, you never had to wonder if it looked like you were trying too hard because the second you came out of your room or the bathroom, there would be about 2-3 comments waiting for you. At first it was alright because no one really wants to have to think harder than they need to whether it be about clothes or what to eat for lunch, but at some point, it gets annoying, especially when opinions conflict and you find yourself on the defensive pulling the "individual card" and declaring "I like this, so shut your face." It's the hard knock path towards developing personal style.
Just as you can like things for no apparent reason, you can also dislike things for no real apparent reason and picking up on this hunch is the first step in assessing if you look like you're trying too hard. Now for those who don't have a series of sisters for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th opinion, there's a fairly easy exercise to follow.
Considerations:
1. Silhouette Comfort
- Not the hoodies and sweatpants comfortable, but the "am I comfortable with this silhouette?" it can range from t-shirt and jeans to cocktail lounge dresses. Generally, do you feel comfortable in public being in this ensemble? It can be an ensemble that you've never tried out before, but you like the silhouette so there is still a degree of comfort. Comfort zones are a lot bigger than you think. This doesn't have any bearing on physical comfort as there are many willing to put up with blisters on their feet just to look good.
2. Environment
- Where are you going and what will the weather be like? No platform sandals at the beach. No silk pencil skirts to a backyard barbecue. No heavy makeup to an outdoor excursion or any other situation where it will be likely that you'll sweat that make up off.
Exceptions:
If you have internal issues with thermal regulation (i.e. had your thyroid gland removed), or you're sick any accommodative dressing is quite acceptable.
Next
To establish your comfort level, you need to establish the criteria for your clothing. If your clothing doesn't fit your criteria, than it makes sense for you to not feel comfortable and as such you can end up worrying more about your clothes than things like engaging people in interesting conversation. The main objective is to get dressed and not worry about your clothes after that point.
Criteria (here's my example)
- Not entirely form fitting
- I should be able to run away very easily (yes, even in heels)
- Will not impede my ability to fight.
Why is it important to take environment into account?
No one wants to dress themselves into an uncomfortable position as it would impede their ability to enjoy whatever situation they happen to be in. If you look at someone who is dressed in a manner that you don't approve of, yet they are cool, calm, and collected - that is not the definition of trying too hard. Everyone has different criteria. Now, if your main goal is just to wear something for the sake of wearing it, weather and environment be damned, then you might find yourself thinking "am I trying too hard?" Your goal is more focused on your clothing and not you. As long as it's weather appropriate, it's fine to have a focal point on an outfit, but having too many focal points because you want to show off three really awesome pieces that don't really coordinate? You're trying too hard.
Here's a pictorial depiction of a situation I had a couple weeks ago.
My boyfriend's company was having an event for family and close friends. Read how the dilemma played out in comic form! :)
Ultimately, I went with whatever I could play Dance Dance Revolution in. Like I've said, I don't like overly tight and showy clothing, nor do I like purposely making my body look short and stubby just to show off a pair of shoes - my pants are already short, so cuffing them would bring more attention to my short legs. Sandals and tube tops are saved for another day.
My boyfriend's company was having an event for family and close friends. Read how the dilemma played out in comic form! :)
The flow chart is small this time:
Can you be uncomfortable with a silhouette and still be fine? As long as your clothes meet your criteria, you'll probably be okay. Trying out a new silhouette is always interesting and as long as it's appropriate for the environment you'll be in, you wouldn't have to worry about:
- being out of place
- wishing you wore something different
- complaining about your clothing
Can you be uncomfortable with a silhouette and still be fine? As long as your clothes meet your criteria, you'll probably be okay. Trying out a new silhouette is always interesting and as long as it's appropriate for the environment you'll be in, you wouldn't have to worry about:
- being out of place
- wishing you wore something different
- complaining about your clothing
- clothes getting ruined by the environment
...and all the other sentiments that come with trying too hard to be uncomfortable.
...and all the other sentiments that come with trying too hard to be uncomfortable.
2 comments:
Cool post! The pictures of you look like tarot cards and you brought up some valid points. The only issue I have is with you posting a crappy picture of me on a fashion blog.
Dude. I thought it was a good picture of you. Oh how your tastes have changed over time.
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